Enriching your marriage God's way:

(Prov 19:14 NASB) "House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the LORD."

Man can have no greater asset than a good wife. It is a high honor to be chosen from among all women as the wife of a good and true man. She is lifted to a position of crowned queen and great power is placed in her hands. (Prov 31:10-11 NASB) "An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. {11} The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain."

Aristotle said about a man and his wife that it was 'a single soul dwelling in two bodies.' A good marriage is the closest thing to heaven on earth.

Marriage is a two way street; both partners have many responsibilities. When each person submits him/her self to God's will the marriage will grow strong and beautiful.

Remember when . . . . .

The husband is the head of the household and is charged with managing it.

(1 Tim 3:5 NASB) "(but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?);"

A wife should submit to her husband , be pure, good compassionate and her heart should be set on her responsibilities to her husband and their life together. (Prov 31:11)

(1 Pet 3:1-6 NASB) "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, {2} as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. {3} And let not your adornment be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; {4} but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. {5} For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. {6} Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear."

Question: Who wears the pants in your household? Does submission mean that a woman has no input into the running of the household?

(1 Tim 5:14 NASB) "Therefore, I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the enemy no occasion for reproach;"
Keep - (Greek word: oikodespoteo, oy-kod-es-pot-eh'-o; Means to be the head of (i.e. rule) a family:--guide the house.) The wife has the responsibility to be in charge of the household under the guidance of the husband.

Discussion question:

What is the husbands role in guiding the household? What can/should a husband delegate to his wife? Who should do the bills? Why? Etc.

Together:

(1 Pet 3:8-9 NASB) "To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; {9} not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing."

God has also given husbands the difficult assignment of loving their wives more than themselves. This they show by putting their personal preferences last as they demonstrate selflessness in their time, their affection and the couples money.

(Eph 5:25 NASB) "Husbands, love (agapeo) your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;"

(Eph 5:28 NASB) "So husbands ought also to love (agapeo) their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;"

(Col 3:19 NASB) "Husbands, love (agapeo) your wives, and do not be embittered against them."

In Mat 19:6 Jesus affirmed that married persons are no longer two flesh, but one. (Mat 19:6 NASB) ""Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.""

God ordained marriage, not man. For the marriage relationship to work the way it was intended, man needs to follow God's plan for marriage. When man tries to change the rules, the marriage relationship begins to deteriorate. The perfect marriage will follow God's plan. Love of your mate is proven by action and measured by sacrifice!

Question:

Name some things in the marriage relationship that man has added to or taken away from it.

Discussion question:

Oooops..... I married the wrong person, what do I do now?

(Phil 4:8 NASB) "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things."

The only real reason for divorce is that man has left God out of the marriage relationship. If mankind follows God's rules for marriage and life in general, a divorce will not occur. If God is the center of the relationship the partners will become closer, not farther apart. Being Christians elevates marriage by giving women a religious equality with men - men and women have equal privileges in the gospel, (1 Pet 3:7 NASB) "You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.", (Gal 3:28 NASB) "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

Successful marriage is a dynamic, growing relationship in which the personalities of both partners continue to develop (Marriage for Moderns, Henry A. Bowman).

Characteristics of husband's love:

1. To love his wife even as himself and more than himself (Eph 5:25,28)
2. To be single, exclusive and undivided toward her (1 Cor 7.2)
3. To be considerate and tender (1 Pet 3:7 - Honor her; Col 3:19 - not bitter)
4. To be mutual, constant and lasting. (1 John 4:9-11 - notice the characteristics of agape love).

Methods in which husband's love finds expression:

1. In providing for her physical support (1 Tim 5:8)
2. In providing for her emotional and aesthetic needs (Eph 5:29)
3. In protecting her life, honor and good name (Eph 5:23, 26f; 1 Pet 3:7)
4. In seeking her spiritual welfare (Eph 5:26-27)

Men: consider the above 8 points and rate yourself according to your fulfillment of them.

Women often expect their husbands to love them in the way they love, and visa versa, but men and women love differently. Much unhappiness could be avoided if men and women realized this fact.

Woman is not a carbon copy of man, but another creation, enlarging and enriching life. The husband and wife are two halves of a whole and the whole is designed by God to be greater than the sum of the parts. Married people learn of each other and about each other. They see the strengths and weaknesses in each other. Disagreements are usually a matter of attitudes and emotions.

(Eph 5:31 NASB) "FOR THIS CAUSE A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE; AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH." Paul stresses that marriage is sacred and is divinely appointed. He will complete her and she will complete him. One without the other is only half of a beautiful whole.

Characteristics of a wive's love:

(Titus 2:3-5 NASB) "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips, nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, {4} that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, {5} to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored."

(Prov 31:10 NASB) "An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels."
(Prov 31:11 NASB) "The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain."
(Prov 31:12 NASB) "She does him good and not evil All the days of her life."
(Prov 31:13 NASB) "She looks for wool and flax, And works with her hands in delight."
(Prov 31:14 NASB) "She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar."
(Prov 31:15 NASB) "She rises also while it is still night, And gives food to her household, And portions to her maidens."
(Prov 31:16 NASB) "She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard."
(Prov 31:17 NASB) "She girds herself with strength, And makes her arms strong."
(Prov 31:18 NASB) "She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night."
(Prov 31:19 NASB) "She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle."
(Prov 31:20 NASB) "She extends her hand to the poor; And she stretches out her hands to the needy."
(Prov 31:21 NASB) "She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet."
(Prov 31:22 NASB) "She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple."
(Prov 31:23 NASB) "Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land."
(Prov 31:24 NASB) "She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen."
(Prov 31:25 NASB) "Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future."
(Prov 31:26 NASB) "She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."
(Prov 31:27 NASB) "She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness."
(Prov 31:28 NASB) "Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:"
(Prov 31:29 NASB) ""Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.""
(Prov 31:30 NASB) "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."
(Prov 31:31 NASB) "Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates."

Assignments:

Men: Find a different, maybe creative way, of expressing your love and appreciation for your wife each day.

Women: Pick one verse from Proverbs 31:10-31 where you feel that you need work, and concentrate your efforts there.