The information in the following lesson was mainly taken from books written by Tim LaHaye, "Spirit Controlled Temperament" and "Transformed Temperament". These books are recommended reading for anyone wishing to get a better understanding of the concept of temperaments. It needs to be understood that this is not an exacting science and should not be used to judge others. This material is designed to help understand why people act and react the way they do. It is also helpful for us to understand our own temperament. We can then concentrate on developing our strengths and minimizing our weaknesses.

A. What is a temperament?

All people have certain personality traits. Some people have an easier time programming the VCR. Others write poetry with no effort. One may be the life of the party, while another is shy and reserved. These differences in personality are what we call temperaments. They are what make people different. If every man and woman on earth were alike we may have lots of poetry, but the VCR would never have been invented!

B. Why study the temperaments?

As we have discussed in previous classes, it is important to understand the way our mate thinks and reacts to issues in the marriage. In addition to the stated physical and emotional differences between men and women, the temperaments make a major impact on how we deal with things. If we understand the temperament of our spouse we will have a much better chance of avoiding problems between us.

C. The four temperaments:

The idea of temperaments is not a new idea. Notice:

(Prov 30:11-14 NASB)
{11} "There is a kind of man who curses his father, And does not bless his mother.
{12} There is a kind who is pure in his own eyes, Yet is not washed from his filthiness.
{13} There is a kind-- oh how lofty are his eyes! And his eyelids are raised in arrogance.
{14} There is a kind of man whose teeth are like swords, And his jaw teeth like knives, To devour the afflicted from the earth, And the needy from among men."

It is apparent that God had a hand in creating us differently. God has given each of us talents and expects us to use them. The temperaments help to define our talents. (Mat 25:14-30 describes the parable of the talents. 1 Cor 12 deals with the functions of each member of the body as it relates to our "gifts".)

Hippocrates, the father of medicine, gave the four temperaments names about 500 years later and in about 200 AD a doctor named Galen came up with the detailed list of the strengths and weaknesses of the temperaments.

The four temperaments are: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy and Phlegmatic. The following charts list the major strengths and weaknesses. It is important to note that different temperaments may have the same traits, but for different reasons. Also, even though all temperaments are different, no one temperament is inherently better or worse than any other.

The Sanguine

1. Use your ability to enjoy life to encourage your mate. (Prov 17:22 NASB) "A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones."

2. Use your enthusiasm to motivate your mate. (Prov 12:25 NASB) "Anxiety in the heart of a man weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad."

3. Use your sensitive nature to show sensitivity to your mate. (Prov 17:17 NASB) "A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity."

The Choleric

1. Use your leadership abilities to resolve conflict. (Mat 5:23-24 NASB) ""If therefore you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, {24} leave your offering there before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering."

2. Use your self discipline to rein in your own weaknesses. (1 Cor 9:26-27 NASB) "Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; {27} but I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest possibly, after I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified."

3. Use your optimistic outlook on life to uplift your mate. (Phil 3:13-14 NASB) "Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, {14} I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

The Melancholy

1. Use your analytical abilities in positive ways. (Prov 15:23 NASB) "A man has joy in an apt answer, And how delightful is a timely word!" (Prov 15:28 NASB) "The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things."

2. Use your sensitive nature to understand your mate. (1 Pet 3:7 NASB) "You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

3. Use your sacrificial nature to sacrifice for your mate. (Eph 5:25 NASB) "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;"

The Phlegmatic

1. Use your listening abilities to show interest and concern. (Prov 16:13 NASB) "Righteous lips are the delight of kings, And he who speaks right is loved." (Prov 18:23 NASB) "The poor man utters supplications, But the rich man answers roughly."

2. Use your patience as an example for your mate. (1 Th 5:14 NASB) "And we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men."

3. Use your desire for peace to diffuse difficult situations. (Mat 5:9 NASB) ""Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

1. Why alike temperaments rarely marry

* Sanguine would compete for the same stage. Who would be the audience?
* Choleric would both be vying for control in the relationship.
* Melancholy's would immediately see the negatives in each other.
* Phlegmatic would want a temperament more enthusiastic than their own.

2. How opposite temperaments attract each other.

* Sanguines are drawn to the level-headedness of Melancholies.
* Cholerics are drawn to the easy going nature of Phlegmatics.
* Melancholies are drawn to the fun loving nature of Sanguines.
* Phlegmatics are drawn to the energetic nature of Cholerics.

3. Why opposite temperaments attack each other.

* All temperaments are on their best behavior when dating.
* Opposite temperaments fail to see traits as potential weaknesses.
* We see the "flip side" of our mate's temperament after the wedding.
* Temperament weakness become the source of bitterness and resentment.

4. How opposite temperaments should respond to each other.
* Recognize your mate's actions result from temperament. (James 1:19 NASB) "This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;"
* Refuse to consider divorce as an option. (Mat 19:6 NASB) ""Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.""
* Admit to yourself that you are not perfect. (Rom 3:10 NASB) "as it is written, "THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE;"

* Accept the fact that your mate has weaknesses. (1 Th 5:14 NASB) "And we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men."
* Apologize when you are wrong. (James 5:16 NASB) "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."

1. Appreciate someone different than yourself. God did not make everyone alike and we should be thankful. (1 Cor 12:17-19 NASB) "If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? {18} But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired. {19} And if they were all one member, where would the body be?"

2. Refuse trying to make your mate like yourself. Love does not change a person but to understand and accept. (1 Cor 13:4-7 NASB) "Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, {5} does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, {6} does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; {7} bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

3. Look at your mate's differences in a positive way. Differences will sharpen your relationship if you allow them. (Prov 27:17 NASB) "Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another."

4. Learn to let the little annoyances go. A wise mate knows how and when to overlook petty annoyances. (Prov 12:16 NASB) "A fool's vexation is known at once, But a prudent man conceals dishonor."

5. Use humor to address temperament annoyances. (Prov 17:22 NASB) "A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones."

6. Avoid continual criticism at all costs. (Prov 27:15 NASB) "A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike;"

7. Confront your mate in love with their weaknesses. (Prov 15:1 NASB) "A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger."

8. Value strengths your mate brings to the marriage. (Eccl 4:9-11 NASB) "Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. {10} For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. {11} Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?"

9. Work with, not against, your mate's weaknesses. (Prov 10:12 NASB) "Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all transgressions."

10. Commit ongoing conflicts to God in prayer. (Phil 4:6 NASB) "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

We do not exhibit all the traits of any one temperament. In fact we are a blend of generally two temperaments, with one being dominate. The blend is normally 60%-40%, but this is not an exacting science. Each individual needs to figure out their own blend. The first six in the following list are basically extroverts and the last are predominantly introverts. The normal blending is as follows:

1. The SanChlor. The strongest extrovert blend. People oriented and enthusiastic salesman type. Organized and productive, will start out as salesman and end up as sales manager. People oriented, needs variety, activity and excitement. Sports enthusiast. Generally financially successful if trained and motivated properly. Highly opinionated and talks too much. Expresses himself loudly before he has all the facts. Simon Peter was a SanChlor. Notice that throughout the Gospel accounts he was outspoken, egotistical and weak-willed. In Acts, however, he was resolute, effective and productive. If we follow God's will we will lose a lot of the negative traits.

2. The SanMel. Highly emotional people who fluctuate drastically. Will laugh hysterically one minute and burst into tears the next. Genuinely feel grief of others. SanMel Doctors have best bed side manner. Make fantastic instructors, teachers and college professors. Most popular instructors on campus. Excel in public speaking, acting, music and fine arts. Their uninhibited perfectionism often alienates them from others because they verbalize their criticisms. People oriented, but have ego and arrogance. May easily get down on himself, experience both anger and fear. Insecure and fearful to utilize his potential. Should always work with people. Being admired by others is so important to him that it will drive him to a consistent level of performance. Accurate in statistics and organized in presentations. King David was SanMel. Extremely likable man who attracted both men and women (charisma), he was colorful, dramatic, emotional and weak-willed. He could play a harp a nd sing and was poetic.

3. The SanPhleg. The overpowering and obnoxious tendencies of a Sanguine are offset by the gracious, easygoing Phlegmatic. Extremely happy, carefree spirit and good humor. People helpers, who are good in sales. Lighthearted entertainers. The least extroverted of any of the Sanguines are often regulated by their environment and circumstances, rather than being self motivated. Good family men, loved by everyone, would not purposely hurt anyone. Lacks motivation and discipline. Would rather socialize than work and tends to take life too casually. "He is the nicest guy I ever fired!". Rarely gets upset and finds bright side of everything. Apollos (Acts 18:24) was probably a SanPhleg. He succeeded Paul and others and he stirred churches with his preaching and teaching, but apparently did not start any new works.

4. The ChlorSan. Strong extrovert. Life is completely given over to activity. Most efforts are productive and purposeful and his recreation is so activity prone that it borders on being violent. Natural promoter and salesman. Best motivator of people, thrives on a challenge. Almost fearless and exhibits boundless energy. Has two speeds, wide open and stop! He is the charming courtroom attorney, the fund raiser who can get people to contribute what they were saving. The politician who talks his state into changing its constitution so he can run one more term. Convincing debater who uses bluff and bravado when he lacks facts. Excellent communicator. Most noticeable weakness is quick, explosive anger of the Sanguine, (without the forgiveness), and the long burning resentment of the Choleric. He not only gets ulcers but gives them. He is opinionated, prejudiced, impetuous and inclined doggedly to finish a project he probably should not have started. Wife usually is Shell Sh ocked woman who feels unloved and unneeded. She admires, fears him and resents him. James could have been a ChlorSan. He used practical and logical reasoning. He refers to works and the fire of the tongue and how no man can control it (James 3).

5. The ChlorMel. Extremely industrious and capable person. Goal oriented and detailed. Does well in school, possesses a quick, analytical mind, yet is decisive. Develops into very capable leader, who does an extraordinary job. Great defense attorney and debater. Verbally aggressive and attends to detail. Extremely competitive and forceful. Usually successful. Probably makes the best natural leaders. General George S. Patton was probably a ChlorMel. Has as strong weaknesses as strengths. Apt to be autocratic, dictator type who inspires admiration and hate simultaneously. Opinionated and loves an argument. Will play 'devils advocate' just so he can argue against himself. Sarcasm can devastate others. Crusader whose work habits are long and irregular. Harbors considerable hostility and resentment, may find interpersonal relationships difficult, especially with his family. Apt to be overly strict father. Hard to please perfectionist (Choleric/Melancholy). Commonly s uffers from bleeding ulcers, colitis and high blood pressure. Prime candidate for a heart attack after fifty. If life is given over to God, becomes an outstanding Christian. Apostle Paul was probably ChlorMel. Before his conversion he was hostile and cruel. After conversion he was strong-willed, determined and bullheaded to the work of the Church. His writings demonstrate the combination of practical-analytical reasoning and self-sacrificing driving nature.

6. The ChlorPhleg. Most subdued of all extroverts. Happy blend of the quick, active and hot with the calm, cool and unexcited. Not as apt to rush into things as other extroverts because he is more deliberate and subdued. Is extremely capable , but does not impress you that way at first. Very organized, combines planning and hard work. People enjoy working with him because he has charted his course and is not unduly cruel with people. Helps others make the best use of their skills and rarely offends people. Often gets more accomplished than other temperaments. Has not inclination to do it all himself, so invariably enlists others to help. MOTTO: "Why do the work of ten men when you can get ten men to do the work?". Usually good husbands and fathers as well as excellent administrators in almost any field. Weaknesses include harboring resentment and bitterness. Sarcasm will probably sound more like cleverly disguised humor. No one is more bullheadedly stubborn and it is difficult to change his mind once it is committed. Repentance or acknowledgment of mistakes is not easy. Worrisome traits of the Phlegmatic side of his nature may curtail his ability to measure up to his capabilities. Titus may have been a ChlorPhleg. He was a dependable, faithful teacher of the Word.

7. The MelSan. Usually very gifted person, capable of being a performing-arts musician who can steal the heart of an audience. As an artist he can draw or paint beautifully, and sell his own work (if he is in the right mood). Good in production control and cost analysis positions. Good scholar and probably best of all classroom teachers, especially high school and college. The Melancholy will ferret out little known facts and be exacting in the use of events and details, while the Sanguine will enable him to communicate well with students. Usually majors in the social sciences, theology, philosophy or the humanities. Good at low pressure sales that call for exacting detail and presentation of many facts, such as computers, calculators, text books, etc. Makes good lawyer, dentist, doctor. Almost any medical field. Many great actors, opera stars and country western singers are MelSans. Is delightful emcee and makes a good preacher. Loyal husband and devoted father if he lea rns to accept people and not be too critical of them. Extremely capable, but usually works for someone else and rarely is venturesome enough to launch out in his own business. He is an emotional creature, showing interesting combination of mood swings. When things are good he can be fantastically happy. If things work out badly or he is rejected, insulted or injured he drowns in self pity. He will destroy himself if he doesn't guard his thinking. Easily moved to tears, feels everything deeply, but can be unreasonably critical and hard on others. Tends to be rigid and usually will not cooperate unless things go his way. Most folk tunes are written by MelSans (melancholic laments, mournful wails or ballads of doom). Many of the prophets were probably MelSans-John the Baptist, Elijah, Jeremiah, and others. They had tremendous capacity to commune with God, were self sacrificing people helpers who had enough charisma to attract a following. They tended to be legalistic in their teachings and calls to repentance, had a flair for the dramatic and willingly died for their principles.

8. The MelChlor. Mood swings of the Melancholy are usually stabilized by the MelChlor's self will and determination. Almost nothing vocationally he can't do and do well. Both perfectionist and driver. Makes excellent attorney in fields that demand research and accuracy (corporate, securities, taxes, etc.). Prepares twice as hard as opponent, so rarely looses. Good technical doctor. Strong leadership capabilities. More apt to be family dentist than specialist, but may give up in fifteen to twenty years to go into something else. Many airline pilots are MelChlors, mixing precision with decisiveness and determination. As an educator will often go into administration. Could become an executive vice-president of any will organized business and improve it. May start his own business and run it capably, with efficiency. Great orchestra leaders and choral conductors. Variety of athletic fields, including baseball pitchers, football quarterbacks and running backs. Weaknesses re veal themselves in the mind, emotions and mouth. Extremely difficult people to please, rarely satisfying even themselves. Can be intolerable to live with when they start thinking negatively. Moods follow thought processes. Lapse into depressed moods quickly, but come out faster than other Melancholy blends. Haunted by self persecution, hostility and criticism. Not uncommon for him to get angry with God as well as fellow man. Can become manic-depressive. In extreme cases can become sadistic. Nitpicker who drives others up the wall. With wife and children he emotes disapproval and feels compelled to castigate them verbally for their failures and to correct their mistakes, in public or private. Words of condemnation and criticism can dehumanize wife and children. Will often withhold sex if wife doesn't cook or clean to his expectations, in order to 'teach her'. Luke may have been a MelChlor. He was a painstaking scholar who carefully researched the life of Christ and left t he most detailed account of His life and the history of the early church. Moses was also a MelChlor. Many MelChlors never live up to their potential because of their spirit of anger and revenge.

9. The MelPhleg. The greatest scholars the world has ever known have been MelPhlegs. Not as prone to hostility as other Melancholy blends and get along will with others. Combine analytical perfectionism of Melancholy with organized efficiency of the Phlegmatic. Good natured humanitarians who prefer quiet solitary environment for study and research. Usually excellent spellers and good mathematicians. Excel in higher education, medicine, pharmacy, dentistry, architecture, decorating, literature, theology and other "cerebral" fields. Are highly respected writers, philosophers, and scientists, masters in the crafts, construction music and art. Extremely detail conscious and accurate, they make good accountants, bookkeepers and CPA's. Often become specialists in medicine or dentistry. Most of the worlds significant inventions and medical discoveries have been made by MelPhlegs. May be said of an MelPhleg, "he is the only man I know who is incapable of incompetence." Weaknesse s are negative thinking pattern and easily discouraged. He can transform though, if he realizes what he should do. Normally quiet person, capable of inner angers and hostility caused by tendency to be revengeful. Can become vindictive. Unusually vulnerable to fear, anxiety and negative self image. Suffer mood swings and can become uncooperative. Their strong tendency to be very conscientious allows them to let others pressure them into making commitments that drain their energy and creativity. Usually good family men, as long as they don't let moods drag them down. Need to learn to pace themselves and enjoy diversions to relax or often will become early mortality statistics. Apostle John was probably a MelPhleg. Obvious sensitive nature, yet became angry (Luke 9:54) to the point of asking for fire from heaven to consume some people.

10. The PhlegSan. Easiest of the blends to get along with over long periods of time. He is congenial, happy cooperative, thoughtful, people-oriented, diplomatic, dependable, fun loving and humorous. Never displays an abrasive personality. Rarely goes into sales, often found in education, administration, college registrar, accountant, mechanic, funeral director, working scientist, engineer, statistician, radio announcer, counselor, minister, veterinarian, farmer, bricklayer or construction worker. Good family man who loves his family and enjoys a quiet life. Since he inherited the lack of motivation of the Phlegmatic and the lack of discipline of a Sanguine, it is not uncommon of the PhlegSan to fall far short of his true capabilities. Often quits school, passes up good opportunities and avoids anything that involves "too much effort". Tends to putter around, enjoys solitude and lets life pass him by. A PhlegSan husband falls short his wife's expectations. His passive ways a re often a source of irritation to her. The PhlegSan's wife buys him every new self improvement book, but he falls asleep reading them. He is fearful and has unrealistic feelings of insecurity. Rather than transform, he prefers to build a self-protective shell around himself and selfishly avoids the kind of involvement or commitment to activity that he needs and that would be a rich blessing to his partner and children. Timothy may have been a PhlegSan. He was dependable and steady, but timid and fearful.

11. The PhlegChlor. The most active of all Phlegmatics is the PhlegChlor., but as a predominate Phlegmatic he will never be a ball of fire. Easy to get along with and may become an excellent group leader, foreman, executive vice-president, accountant, educator, planner, and laborer in almost any construction area. Good listener, so may make good counselor. Genuinely interested in others. Rarely offers his services to others. His office is organized and he is in control, a first rate professional. Advice will be practical and helpful. Patience of Job. Gentle spirit. Reluctant to take the lead at home, particularly in the discipline of children. Weaknesses include lack of motivation and fear problems of other Phlegmatics. He is also determinedly stubborn and unyielding. Doesn't blow up, just refuses to cooperate. Not a fighter, but often lets his inner anger and stubbornness reflect itself in silence. Often retreat to his workshop in solitude, or immerses himself in TV a t might. The older he gets the more sedentary and passive he becomes. Life becomes boring for him and his family. Abraham was probably a PhlegChlor. He was fearful of leaving UR, then he denied his wife on two occasions and tried to convince others that she was his sister. He believed in God and his faith turned his weaknesses into strengths.

12. The PhlegMel. The PhlegMel is the most gracious, gentle and quiet of all the temperament blends. Rarely angry or hostile. Almost never has to apologize for something said, because rarely says very much. Never embarrasses himself or others. Always does proper thing, dresses simply, is dependable and exact. Neat and organized in work habits. Does well in photography, printing, inventory, analysis, layout, advertising, mechanics, education, pharmacy, dentistry, watchmaking, finish carpentry, glassblowing, wallpaper hanging, painting or anything involving intricate detail and great patience. Is a plodder, so piecemeal or production work is rarely a choice. Handy around the house and will keep home in good repair if energy permits. His passive demeanor may cause marital problems if his wife does not understand his temperament and wants him to be a strong leader. He may neglect the necessary discipline for his children and they may walk all over him. Other weaknesses revolv e around a low self image, fear, selfishness, negativism and criticism. If a PhlegMel realizes that his negative thinking is keeping him from succeeding, he can overcome and become successful. Most PhlegMels have an obsession against becoming involved. They are afraid of overextending themselves so they don't become involved at all. PhlegMels work well under pressure as long as the pressure is external. They will not apply internal pressure. A PhlegMel will do himself good by taking vitamins and working out physically. Barnabas was probably a PhlegMel. He gave half his goods to the early church. He contended with Paul over Mark accompanying them on the second missionary journey and ended up taking Mark and proceeding alone.

1. Your percentages may not be 60/40. It is possible, if not likely that you may have a different blend then that of another of the same temperament type. A MelChlor with a 80/20 blend will not be the same as one with a 60/40 blend.

2. Different backgrounds and childhood training can alter the expression of identical blends.

3. You may not be objective when looking at yourself. Discuss your temperament with friends or family.

4. Education and IQ will often influence the appraisal of a person's temperament. A MelSan with a very high IQ may appear different than one with an average IQ. Even so, basic strengths and weaknesses will be similar.

5. Health and metabolism play a part in how much energy one shows and how active a person is.

6. It is possible, however somewhat unlikely, that three temperaments are represented in one person. Usually people who think they have three temperament blends do not understand the temperaments well enough.

7. Motivation will have a marked impact on a persons behavior regardless of his temperament. A properly motivated person can overcome weaknesses and draw on strengths to succeed.

8. A Christian who follows God's will has been modified by the Word and will overcome the temperament weaknesses with the gaining of knowledge and strength from God.