God's plan for sex was that it be for married couples to procreate and fulfill the desires that He has put within us. Man was told in Genesis to multiply and fill the earth.

(Gen 1:28 NASB) "And God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.""

We are also told that there will be desires.

(Gen 3:16 NASB) "To the woman He said, "I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you shall bring forth children; Yet your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.""

Man has an inbred need for sex and God allows that need to be filled through the marriage relationship. Man uses sex for procreation, pleasure and communication towards becoming "one flesh". Within the marriage relationship all these uses are lawful and in fact encouraged.

(Gen 18:12-13 NASB) "And Sarah laughed to herself, saying, "After I have become old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?" {13} And the LORD said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh, saying, 'Shall I indeed bear a child, when I am so old?'"

(Song 4 NASB) ""How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves behind your veil; Your hair is like a flock of goats That have descended from Mount Gilead. {2} "Your teeth are like a flock of newly shorn ewes Which have come up from their washing, All of which bear twins, And not one among them has lost her young. {3} "Your lips are like a scarlet thread, And your mouth is lovely. Your temples are like a slice of a pomegranate Behind your veil. {4} "Your neck is like the tower of David Built with rows of stones, On which are hung a thousand shields, All the round shields of the mighty men. {5} "Your two breasts are like two fawns, Twins of a gazelle, Which feed among the lilies. {6} "Until the cool of the day When the shadows flee away, I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh And to the hill of frankincense. {7} "You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you. {8} "Come with me from Lebanon, my bride, May you come with me from Lebanon. Journey down from the summit of Amana, From the summit of Senir and Hermon, From the dens of lions, From the mountains of leopards. {9} "You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride; You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes, With a single strand of your necklace. {10} "How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much better is your love than wine, And the fragrance of your oils Than all kinds of spices! {11} "Your lips, my bride, drip honey; Honey and milk are under your tongue, And the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. {12} "A garden locked is my sister, my bride, A rock garden locked, a spring sealed up. {13} "Your shoots are an orchard of pomegranates With choice fruits, henna with nard plants, {14} Nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon, With all the trees of frankincense, Myrrh and aloes, along with all the finest spices. {15} "You are a garden spring, A well of fresh water, And streams flow ing from Lebanon." {16} "Awake, O north wind, And come, wind of the south; Make my garden breathe out fragrance, Let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden And eat its choice fruits!""

God designed sex so that man is the 'giver' and woman the 'receiver'. Man has distorted the Godly view of sex and has man as being the 'taker' and woman being the 'giver'. As a result the world thinks in terms of the woman 'giving herself' and the man as being the 'conqueror'. In reality a good sexual relationship should be seen as this:

HE is the giver and should give in a way which makes it easy for her to receive (preparation, foreplay, consideration, understanding, etc.) SHE is the receiver and should receive the man as if given a gift (not a drudgery or duty or reward).

(Eph 5:25 NASB) "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;"

(Col 3:18 NASB) "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord."

Our sexuality was given to us for our partner. It is a powerful tool to either build or destroy a relationship.

(1 Cor 7:3-5 NASB) "Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. {4} The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does."(5) "Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control." The marital sexual relationship is a powerful tool to either develop or destroy intimacy and should never be used for anything except to build and strengthen the marriage.

Surveys conducted have determined that the average marital sexual relations occur about twice a week. See Tim LaHaye's book, "The Act of Marriage".

The important point is that most couples settle in to a relationship that is satisfactory to both individuals and fills the needs of each.

Sexuality is not a mere animalistic response, but is a learned behavior. It is learned through years of committed communicative effort to satisfy the other person! God intended sex to be the total revelation of yourself both physically and emotionally, the emotional catalyst for become 'one flesh'.

Good married sex is a cycle. It provides a fertile ground in which intimacy may grow and then that intimacy likewise produces good sex as its fruit.

"BAD" sex results when the real purpose (intimacy) is distorted or ignored. Good sexual relations should lead to becoming 'one flesh'. Here are a few examples of how sex is distorted and the results of such distortions. Each of these is a barrier to intimacy.

(1 Cor 6:20 NASB) "For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body."

(1 Cor 6:9-10 NASB) "Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, {10} nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God."

(Mat 19:18 NASB) "He said to Him, "Which ones?" And Jesus said, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER; YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY; YOU SHALL NOT STEAL; YOU SHALL NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS;"

This adultery covers a multiple of sexual sins, including homosexuality.

(Mat 5:32 KJV) "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." God allows divorce for the cause of fornication only. Does this mean that God wants you to divorce for this reason?

(Mat 19:6 NASB) ""Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."" God hates divorce. His plan is one man for one woman for the life of the two individuals. Man has no right to change that. Sex outside of marriage is an abomination to God and leads to damnation.

(Prov 7 NASB) "My son, keep my words, And treasure my commandments within you. {2} Keep my commandments and live, And my teaching as the apple of your eye. {3} Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart. {4} Say to wisdom, "You are my sister," And call understanding your intimate friend; {5} That they may keep you from an adulteress, From the foreigner who flatters with her words. {6} For at the window of my house I looked out through my lattice, {7} And I saw among the naive, I discerned among the youths, A young man lacking sense, {8} Passing through the street near her corner; And he takes the way to her house, {9} In the twilight, in the evening, In the middle of the night and in the darkness. {10} And behold, a woman comes to meet him, Dressed as a harlot and cunning of heart. {11} She is boisterous and rebellious; Her feet do not remain at home; {12} She is now in the streets, now in the squares, And lurks by every corner. {13} So she seizes him and kisse s him, And with a brazen face she says to him: {14} "I was due to offer peace offerings; Today I have paid my vows. {15} "Therefore I have come out to meet you, To seek your presence earnestly, and I have found you. {16} "I have spread my couch with coverings, With colored linens of Egypt. {17} "I have sprinkled my bed With myrrh, aloes and cinnamon. {18} "Come, let us drink our fill of love until morning; Let us delight ourselves with caresses. {19} "For the man is not at home, He has gone on a long journey; {20} He has taken a bag of money with him, At full moon he will come home." {21} With her many persuasions she entices him; With her flattering lips she seduces him. {22} Suddenly he follows her, As an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, {23} Until an arrow pierces through his liver; As a bird hastens to the snare, So he does not know that it will cost him his life. {24} Now therefore, my sons, listen to me, And pay attention to the words o f my mouth. {25} Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths. {26} For many are the victims she has cast down, And numerous are all her slain. {27} Her house is the way to Sheol, Descending to the chambers of death."