We're often careful of the things we do.
I wish the same with words were true.
Words can be beautiful things to hear,
Especially to ones we hold so dear.

But what about the harm they do
When spoken unkindly to me or you?
Do we think of others before we speak?
Or are we afraid those words won't keep?

The angry words just seem to flow,
But words of encouragement are few and slow.
The power of words can affect our life,
Whether we live happy or in constant strife.

We're too proud to say, "I've made a mistake."
And in some tragic cases, words may come too late.
So the next time words flourish from anger within,
Don't say words that lead to sin.

Don't dwell on the bad,
But on the good you've heard.
For it's one thing for certain.
There's power in the Word.

A care1ess word may kindle strife;
A cruel word may wreck a life;
A bitter word may hate instill;
A brutal word may smite and kill.

A gracious word may smooth the way;
A joyous word may light the day;
A timely word may lessen stress;
A loving word may heal and bless.

Words have an awesome power
That few of us comprehend -
The power to reach across the miles -
To speak to the heart -
To give hope -
A reason to live -
To cause one to respond with love.
Words reach down and play
Upon the chords of the heart.
Spontaneous words communicate
What only the heart can say.
Words often go unspoken in the pause -
But we are invisibly nourished by
The vibrations we pick up -
The feelings another radiates -
The affinity we share with a friend.
Words, you are sometimes redundant -
But so often necessary.
Without words, hearts that are in tune
Often send messages through an
Undefined, unexplained energy -
And we communicate with those we love.
Words, you play upon my heart -
You taunt, you tantalize, you reverberate
Long after you are silent -
But one is left satisfied -
Feeling cherished -
Invisibly nourished!

Dear Abby: I have been a devoted reader of. your column for many years. I recently visited my physician and noticed a framed poem hanging in his office. After reading it, I knew at once it was something you would want to print in your column. I asked the receptionist if she would please make a copy for me. - Abe Brower, Paterson, NJ

Dear Abe Brower:

Thank you. You were right on target. Perhaps one of my readers will know who the author is. It's well worth space in my column.

The Tone of Voice (Author Unknown)

It's not so much what you say
As the manner in which you say it;
It's not so much the language you use
As the tone in which you convey it.
'Come here!" I sharply said,
And the child cowered and wept.
"Come here," I said
He looked and smiled
And straight to my lap he crept.
Words may be mild and fair
But the tone may pierce like a dart;
Words may be soft as the summer air
But the tone may break my heart;
'For words come from the mind
Grow by study and art
But tone leaps from the inner self,
Revealing the state of the heart.
Whether you know it or not,
Whether you mean or care,
Gentleness, kindness, love and hate,
Envy, anger are there.
Then, would you quarrels avoid
And peace and love rejoice?
Keep anger not only out of your words
Keep it out of your voice.

" What's the matter with you?'' How many times do I have to tell you…? 'Can't you ever do anything right? You always do that! You never…! How often do we hear persons belittled by such careless and harmful statements? These and many similar put downs seem automatically to pop out of many person's mouths in some frustrating moment or difficultly with others. Sarcasm, name-calling, put downs, accusations, sweeping negative overstatements are all too common. It can become such a habit that we don't even realize there harmful impact When such words are spoken to us, do we feel good or uplifted? Of course we don't, because they are not words spoken in love or in a helpful or a constructive way. Cutting, belittling words need to be rooted out of our lives. Children too frequently bear the brunt of put down statements or demeaning words from parents or others. Such words turn some young people into totally crushed, mentally ill, worthless-feeling persons. 'Death and Life are in the power of the tongue' warns Proverbs 18:21. Other young people try to protect themselves from the hurts of such statements by hardening attitudes of disrespect to adults or shouting more hurtful insults to other children. Next time you are in an aggravating situation, put a control on your tongue. Instead of cutting words, say 'Please…' 'Please be neater ' Please be more careful'. ' Please' is a word that helps us show respect. It puts our minds in a more constructive frame, and we deal with others in a more positive way. Show respect and care for the feelings of others. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger '(Proverbs 15:1). 'A soothing tongue is a tree of life' (Prov 15:4) What about you? Do your words wound and hurt others, or do they help and edify? Strive to make your words, words that help - not words that hurt!

If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight.

If children live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy.

If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.

If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.

If children live with encouragement,
They learn confidence.

If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.

If children live with fairness,
They learn justice.

If children live with security,
They learn to have faith.

If children live with approval,
They learn to like themselves.

If children live with acceptance and friendship,
They learn to find love in the world.

Someone has said, "Gossip is like a blotter - it absorbs a lot of dirt, and gets it all backwards." Webster defines gossip to mean. 'A person who chatters or repeats idle talk and rumors about others'

• Gossip wounds 'The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly' (Proverbs 18:8). It can be often seen that the wounds of talebearing never heal. Sometimes the damage is so great that it can never be undone.
  
  
• Gossip separates friends. He that covereth a transgression seeketh love, but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends'' (Proverbs 17:9). Again, Solomon said, A whisperer separateth chief friends (Proverbs 16:28). A lot of friendships have been ruined by gossip.
  
  
• Gossip sows strife and digs up evil. 'An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is a burning fire' (Proverbs 16:27). One who is eager to talk, he who must whisper, will find something to talk about-even if he has to dig it up! His lips burn with a message of gossip. Strife is the result.
  
  
• Gossip ensnares the soul of the gossiper. 'A fool's mouth is his destruction and his lips are the snare of his soul' (Proverbs 18:7). The person who gossips is digging his own grave with his mouth.
  
  
• Gossip is classed with the worst of evil. It is mentioned with such sins as fornication, wickedness covetousness, maliciousness, murder deceit, malignity, haters of God. etc. (Romans 1:29-30)
  
  
• Gossip is dangerous. He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips'' (Proverbs 20:19). Such is not of a faithful spirit (Proverbs 11:13) .
  
  
• The remedy. Set a watch, 0 Lord, before my mouth, keep the door of my lips' (Psalm 143:3) The Psalmist was having difficulty in guarding his words. David's weakness is quite common with many today

(Exo 20:7) "You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
(Psa 34:13) Keep your tongue from evil, And your lips from speaking deceit.
(Prov 6:16-19) These six things the LORD hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: {17} A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, {18} A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, {19} A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.
(Prov 11:13) A talebearer reveals secrets, But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter.
(Prov 15:1-4) A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. {2} The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. {3} The eyes of the LORD are in every place, Keeping watch on the evil and the good. {4} A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, But perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
(Prov 18:8) The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, And they go down into the inmost body.
(Prov 18:21) Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit.
(Prov 21:23) Whoever guards his mouth and tongue Keeps his soul from troubles.
(Prov 25:11) A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold In settings of silver.
(Prov 29:11) A fool vents all his feelings, But a wise man holds them back.
(Prov 29:20) Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
(Prov 31:26) She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
(Mat 12:34-37) "Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. {35} "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. {36} "But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. {37} "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."
(Rom 3:13-14) "Their throat is an open tomb; With their tongues they have practiced deceit"; "The poison of asps is under their lips"; {14} "Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness."
(Rom 12:10) Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;
(Rom 14:19) Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.
(Eph 4:25) Therefore, putting away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another.
(Eph 4:26) "Be angry, and do not sin": do not let the sun go down on your wrath,
(Eph 4:29) Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
(Eph 4:31) Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.
(Eph 4:32) And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.
(Col 3:9) Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds,
(Col 3:17) And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
(James 1:19) So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;
(James 1:26) If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one's religion is useless.
(James 3:5-6) Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! {6} And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
(James 4:11) Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge.
(James 5:15) And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.
(James 5:16) Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
(James 5:19-20) Brethren, if anyone among you wanders from the truth, and someone turns him back, {20} let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death and cover a multitude of sins.
(1 Pet 3:10) For "He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit.
(1 John 4:11) Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
(1 John 4:20-21) If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? {21} And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.
(Rev 21:8) "But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."